The Catfood Diet

The other day I ran into an old acquaintance I had not seen since a couple months ago when she had returned from a one week vacation to Las Vegas with a friend. Her husband had been forced to survive on his own for all that time and she feared his wrath.

She was very surprised to be happily welcomed home, given a big hug, and profusely thanked for her thoughtfulness for leaving him all those cans of gourmet snacks that he had really, really liked. She recalled nothing of the kind, until he pulled the last can of her cat food from the cupboard. She so informed him.

It didn’t matter what it might be, He liked it and he ordered her to stock up with several cases of assorted flavors. She had been on her way to pick up the stuff when I last saw her, and she now proceeded to bring me up to date. She had recently seen the pet dealer from whom she had gotten the pet food, and he had enquired about her husband.

“Oh, he died” she said.

“From the cat food? he asked.

“Oh, Heaven’s no! she answered.

“He got up one morning to have his morning pee, gave himself a great big stretch. But he had developed a very bad habit. When he curled over to lick his balls he lost his balance, toppled over, and broke his neck!”