The Three Wishes

One fine day in Ireland, a young man was out golfing and teed up his ball on the 16th hole. He smashed the golf ball with his driver. Unfortunately, his drive went into the woods. He walked down the fairway and went looking for his ball.

He stepped off the fairway and into the rough and there lying under a tree, unconscious, a large bump on his head, was a strangely dressed little green man with the golf ball lying next to him.

"Goodness," said the golfer, and proceeded to revive the poor little guy.

Upon awaking, the little man said, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."

The man said, "I can't take anything from you for correcting a hurt that I myself caused, Sir. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly."

The man then turned and walked away.

Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thought to himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three wishes anyway, but I wonder what a young man like him would want.

This required a great deal of thought but finally the little man came to a decision as to the nature of these gifts and why:

He had noticed how badly the man must have sliced his ball to get it to come way over here and bonk him on the head so he gave him a great game of golf.

He had noticed the man was poor as was shown by his shabby shoes and really atrocious set of clubs so he granted the young man all the money he would need.

Finally he had noticed that the man was young, in the prime of his life so for good measure he granted him a good sex life with all the sex he would want.

A year went by and the same golfer went golfing on the same course at the 16th hole and once again hit his drive into the very same woods. He went off searching for his ball and there under the same tree was his ball and holding it, was the little green man.

He approached the little fellow and asked how he was doing.

The leprechaun said, "Why I’m just fine, sir, and might I be asking how your golf game is going?"

The young man replied "Why, it’s great! I hit under par every time. Why do you ask?"

“Well, I have to confess that despite your refusal when we last met; I went ahead and granted you three wishes anyway. I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?"

The golfer said, "Well, now that you mention it, whenever I need money, I put my hand in my pocket and there it is. The exact amount I need and I don’t even have to count it."

"Well, I did that for you too. And might I ask how your sex life is?"

The golfer looked at him a little shyly and said, "Well, maybe once or twice a week."

The leprechaun was floored and stammered, "What? Only once or twice a week?"

To which the young man defensively replied

"Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."